You care about someone whose life is out of control. You see craziness, fear, and pain, and you’ve tried to help. You’ve tried to understand and forgive, but the more you give of yourself, the worse the situation becomes. Perhaps there has been an additional crisis, such as a car accident, a lost job, a separation, or a divorce. Often, the crisis is what motivates your loved one to seek help. It may be that the addicted person has taken the first step towards recovery, and now you need help and support.

Drug and alcohol addiction is a baffling disease that takes its toll on the affected person, as well as those close to them. In order to cope with substance addiction, it’s vital to understand it. Therapy with a professional who specializes in substance abuse treatment can help family members with their healing process. Additionally, support groups facilitated by a substance abuse counselor can be a helpful source of information and encouragement. I offer both services, and I would love to connect with you.

Codependency Therapy Provides Help For Families Of Addicts

No matter how much you love them, a family member can’t control a loved one’s addiction. The complex nature of the disease requires additional help and support. Family members who feel anxious about their loved one’s drug or alcohol abuse may reach out with sincere efforts to help – and inadvertently worsen the problem. Moreover, when the attention is narrowed to just the addicted person, family members can end up so focused that they lose sight of themselves.

It’s not uncommon for addicts to betray the trust of their loved ones, resulting in damaged or severed relationships. Many families suffer silently, not wanting others to find out what’s happening. Families of addicts can greatly benefit from therapy to work through the pain of watching someone they love self-destruct. In therapy, families can learn valuable tools to start a conversation with an addict about getting help, without worsening the situation and driving or enabling them to use more. Therapy also explains the necessity of boundaries, and how you can lovingly enforce them with an addict.

There is a good reason that addiction is referred to as a “family disease”: it affects the entire family of the addict. The reality of addiction destroys any idealized images families have of someone, especially if that person was a mentor, authority figure, or someone they helped raise. Relatives may ask themselves, “How could this happen? Where did I go wrong? How did I not see this coming? What does this say about me as a mother, father, or brother/sister?” Therapy assures families that their concerns are valid, and they aren’t suffering alone.

In codependency therapy, family members learn the value of self-care. By practicing skills such as detachment with love, family members recover from the adverse affects of loving someone who is afflicted with addiction. Detachment is one of many recovery tools that assist family members to stop protecting their loved ones from the consequences of their destructive behavior. As a result, addicts and alcoholics learn to help themselves.

No matter how bad things may seem right now, please know that is help available.

Support Groups Can Be Cathartic

For family members who feel isolated and alone, the community offered in support groups can be an invaluable source of hope and strength. Support groups help loved ones cope with difficult feelings and emotions while confronting the reality of addiction. They can also offer education about the disease of addiction and help for codependency. Codependency is broadly defined in a relationship where one person enables another person because of their reliance on others for approval and a sense of identity. This is a behavior pattern that can be difficult to stop. Support groups can help pinpoint the reasons why this happens. It’s a natural tendency to want to help someone you love who is suffering or hurting in some way. But enablers often end up helping the addict avoid consequences for their actions, turning the already strained relationship into an unhealthy codependent relationship. 

Because addiction still carries a stigma in our society, the acceptance and understanding offered in support groups is invaluable to people who might otherwise have nowhere else to turn. The shared experiences establish connections to understanding as each member shares what they have gone through. It’s not uncommon for relatives of addicts to experience depression or anxiety from watching someone they love struggle with addiction. Support groups offer resources and compassion for this as well, and can help you learn how to overcome codependency.

Participation in support groups helps the entire family. Rather than addiction being a character flaw or an issue of morality, these groups can help you understand how addiction affects the brain, therefore influencing one’s behaviors and actions. Support groups can be a great resource for the mental and emotional health of people who feel helpless or guilty as their loved one spirals into the throes of addiction.

Learn More About Codependency Therapy and Support Groups

In order to assess your needs, I offer a free 15-minute phone consultation. You can reach me at 805-453-2729.

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