What first comes to mind when you think of the word "mesh"?
Mesh is often used to describe strands or woven fabric that are interlaced similarly to a web or net.
The stands or fabric blend together, making it difficult to deduce where one started and another ended. This is great for holding a piece of fabric together, but this type of mesh in a relationship setting is less than ideal.
Enmeshment is a term that describes a negative type of relationship where lines are often blurred. Similar to the strands in a piece of mesh fabric, it's hard to tell who is who in the relationship.
Let's learn more about enmeshment and how it relates to codependency.
What is Enmeshment?
Enmeshment describes a type of relationship where boundaries are unclear and the people in the relationship tend to be overly involved in one another's lives. Enmeshment is a form of an unhealthy relationship. While this type of relationship is most commonly seen between family members, it can also occur between romantic partners or friends.
What is Codependency?
Codependency is another type of unhealthy relationship. This involves being extremely dependent or reliant on another person to the point where it can become self-destructive or even harmful. This type of relationship often involves one person giving while the other person is taking. This type of relationship can occur between family members, friends, and romantic relationships.
Shared Signs and Symptoms
Here are a few of the shared signs and symptoms between enmeshment and codependency:
Avoiding conflict
Doing things for your partner even if you don't want to
Fear of abandonment
Feeling responsible for other people's emotions
Guiltiness
Lack of emotional boundaries
Lack of physical boundaries
No sense of self outside of the relationship
Saying "yes" even when you want to say "no" to please others
Self-worth is dependent on others
The Similarities
Enmeshment and codependency share some similar signs and symptoms. Let's dive deeper into the similarities between the two and how enmeshment can relate to codependency.
Boundaries
With both enmeshment and codependency, there is often a blur or lack of boundaries. Boundaries with enmeshment are usually nonexistent. In codependent relationships, a person who is dependent on their partner will have an extremely challenging time setting and enforcing boundaries. Instead, the effort will be focused on the partner's problems and working to take care of them or fix them.
Relationship Driven
Both enmeshment and codependency are driven by their relationships. Enmeshment means that both partners are too involved in each other's life. Codependency involves one of the partner's going out of their way to meet the wants and needs of the other partner in the relationship.
Self Identity
People involved in these relationship dynamics often struggle with their identity. Enmeshment can cause individuals to lose their sense of identity and self. Codependency involves a heavy reliance and dependence on their partner as part of their identity and self-worth.
Next Steps
Enmeshment and codependency go hand in hand. Enmeshment is typically used to describe the dynamic between a family. Codependency is used to describe one person's behavior in a relationship. Due to not having a good reference point for what a healthy and positive relationship looks like, codependent individuals can find themselves involved in enmeshed relationships. No matter if you're in an enmeshed or codependent relationship, it's important to recognize the signs so that you can stop feeling guilty and break free from this unhealthy dynamic. Once you admit to yourself that you need to make a change, you can start the process of implementing self-care, setting boundaries, and working to discover who you truly are. We're here to help you if you need additional support or are looking for coping mechanisms along the way. Reach out today to set up a consultation.