In most relationships, some form of power imbalance exists. This can occur with family members, friends, coworkers or romantic partnerships. But this is actually normal. What isn't normal is when one person in the relationship has most of the control, influence or say between the two of you.
This is where things can start to feel unhealthy, messy and unfair. Rebalancing that power doesn't mean that you're trying to win or be in charge; it's more about creating a relationship where you and your partner both feel seen, heard, respected and valued. This is how to rebalance a relationship's power differential.
Why Power Imbalances Happen
Power imbalances aren't something that just happen out of nowhere. This is something that can develop over time, and unfortunately, it can occur without anyone even realizing that it's happening in the first place. Here are a few of the most common reasons that power can get out of balance:
Financial Control
One of the most common reasons for power imbalances deals with finances. If one person earns most of the money or controls most of it, the other partner in the relationship may start to feel dependent, reliant or stuck.
Cultural Expectations
Gender roles, traditions and hierarchies in the workplace can encourage one partner in the relationship to take the lead while the other is forced to follow along.
Emotional Pressure
Emotional pressures like gaslighting, guilt tripping or the silent treatment can further tip the scales of balance.
Difference of Personalities
Relationships often involve two different personalities coming together to form a single bond. One partner may be more assertive, confident, aggressive or louder compared to the other partner in the relationship. Due to this personality, their voice may overshadow their partner's.
How to Make Things More Balanced Again
Talk It Out
If you notice something is off about your relationship, keep in mind that nothing will change unless you bring it up and talk about it. Make sure you're being open and honest about how you're feeling, no matter how awkward you fear the conversation will be. Try to keep the discussion focused on your personal thoughts and feelings by using "I" statements, so it doesn't come across like you're trying to attack your partner.
Make Decisions Together
If one person is always the one making the decisions, it can make it seem like their opinion is the only one that matters. Work together to make decisions in your relationship, especially big decisions that impact both of you.
Maintain Your Own Sense of Independence
Having a partner is great, but you have to make sure that you're not becoming overly dependent or reliant on them. Make sure that you still have your own goals, friends and hobbies. This ensures that you still have a strong sense of self.
Set and Enforce Boundaries
Boundaries are important in all types of healthy relationships. They may seem like a harsh ask, especially with your partner, but they actually help to protect both of your mental health and wellness. Healthy boundaries can help you and your partner know what's okay and what's not okay within your relationship. Healthy boundaries can show mutual respect and help to build a deeper connection with one another.
Next Steps
Power imbalances are part of life. If they tip too far in one direction, that's when relationships can start to feel disrespectful, unfair and even unsafe. The goal of rebalancing a relationship's power differential isn't to completely erase your differences; it's to make sure that both you and your partner feel like you're heard, respected and valued. Reach out today if you're interested in exploring about couples counseling and how you can improve the relationships in your life.