For many people, counting down the days until Thanksgiving or Christmas is a fun part of the year. Everyone loves getting together, decorating their homes, spending time with family, and passing around gifts. But, for many, the holidays are not always filled with joy, happiness, and love.
Unfortunately, the holiday season can be very difficult to manage when you have lost a loved one recently or around this time of year. Instead of joy and light, the holidays are a stark reminder of what used to be. Going through this period takes a lot of strength and support.
Are you struggling, looking for ways to survive the season without your loved one? You aren’t alone. Show yourself as much kindness as you can this year and consider the following ideas for comfort and self-care:
Tips For Getting Through The Holidays Without A Loved One
Understand That The Holidays Aren’t The Same
The first thing you need to do is accept that the holidays may not feel like they did before. Acknowledge that could be like this for a while. Think of this holiday season as a new start, without any expectations. Allowing the season and your response to it to be what they are can ease a great deal of anxiety.
Do What Makes You Comfortable
Try to take the pressure off, and don’t do anything that you don’t want to do. The holiday season can often make you feel obligated to see, or spend time with people that you do not necessarily want to. In addition, if you want to plan the day your way, then do that.
If there are traditions that you want to keep, and some that you don’t, then feel free to voice those opinions to those around you. Make sure that you do what is best for you to cope and manage.
Don’t Be Afraid To Remember Them
Sometimes, when we are grieving, we find it difficult to think or talk about our loved ones. Give yourself permission to reminisce if it feels right to you. The holidays are a time to be with the ones we love, so thinking and talking about your loved one can be a good and happy thing. It’s okay to cherish your memories and good times.
Accept Your Feelings
Avoid suppressing your feelings. If you’re just not feeling up to certain events or family gatherings, then make it known and explain to trusted loved ones. Don’t force yourself to do something that could further trigger you for the sake of others.
Don’t Isolate Yourself
You need your support system around you now. Try not to isolate yourself as you could end up feeling much worse. Keep friends, family members, and colleagues around you. They can help take your mind off things, communicate with others and put your mind at ease for a while.
Create New Traditions
Perhaps it’s time for a fresh start. You can make the holidays feel special again by starting new traditions with friends or family members. This does not mean that you forget those traditions kept with your loved one. You’re simply accepting the loss and acknowledging your attempts to remain present. It’s okay to embrace the chance to make new memories.
Honor Your Loved One
You may want to keep a picture close or commemorative decoration made so that your loved one will always be with you around the holidays.
Light A Candle
Lighting a candle to honor your loved one daily or at gatherings is often a soothing tribute to someone who brightened your life during past holiday seasons.
Think Towards The Future
Even if you realize that this holiday season is too soon to move on for a full celebration, try to take a bit of time to journal about the future. What traditions or experiences might you want to enjoy in the years to come?
Don’t Get Wrapped Up
Grief is normal, there is no time limit on your healing. Still, try not to become consumed and completely distracted by it. If you feel unable to participate in your life or experience much in positive ways at all, it’s time for professional help.
The holiday season can be hard for lots of us. If you’re struggling with uncertainty and transition this year as you cope with loss, please reach out. Read more about our spiritual counseling. Then, when you’re ready, please contact my office. Together, we can address your pain and path forward.
Click here for more information on Spiritual Counseling.